I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
