My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
