im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
