mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
