??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
