no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
