Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
