this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
