So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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