If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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