as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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