well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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