Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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