I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
