what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
