He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
