I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
