He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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