Screwed.edu
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
