come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this is an emotional support booty call
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