So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
