He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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