haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
