Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
