Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
