i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
