Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
