I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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