I have demons in me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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