I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
