speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
