You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need to stop coming to work sober
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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