I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
worst night to have a conscience
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
