do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
