I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
