I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
bring money and cleavage
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
