I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
