I CAN MOONWALK!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The Olympian is in my bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
