i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
