please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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