You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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