please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
