ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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