i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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