Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love having hate sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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