VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
