Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They have beer where we have blood.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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