I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize