I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
