so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am naked and annoyed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
